My Georgia
I want y'all to
understand one thing right up front. I'm a Georgian.
Always have been and, the Good Lord willing, always
will be.
I was raised in a small Georgia Town and educated at
a small Southern liberal arts college.
I have traveled in all fifty states and several
foreign countries--including New Jersey and
Pennsylvania and most of Europe.
I realize that we have been infiltrated as of late
with a number of Northern transplants, and they are
all welcome, as long as they choose to live amongst
us in peace without spending all their spare time
telling us how much better things were back in
Cleveland and how proficient they are at driving on
snow and ice.
Nonetheless, I feel it is my civic duty to provide a
primer of sorts for all the good people who have
recently migrated to the Peach State.
It might not hurt to remind some of the natives of a
few points of pride as well.
There are some things that all Georgians should
know.
Coca Cola is ours, and unless you've had one in a
green six-and-a-half ounce bottle, with a slight
crust of ice on top, you don't know what the real
thing is.
And you might want to try pouring about half a pack
of salted peanuts into one sometime.
If it weren't for a Georgian-Crawford Long of
Jefferson—open-heart surgery would hurt like hell.
True Georgians say "ma'am and sir" and call their
mothers "mama" and their fathers 'daddy".
They know that y'all is perfectly good English and
never means just one person.
"Fixin to" is perfectly acceptable, too.
And if y'all don't like the way we talk, Delta
(which is also ours) is ready when you are.
Long before the Olympics brought the world's
greatest athletes to Atlanta, we gave the world Ty
Cobb, Jackie Robinson, Walt Frazier, Luke Appling,
Johnny Mize, Fran Tarkenton, Bobby Jones, Clint
Mathis (from my hometown), and Herschel Walker.
If you don't know who these people are, you ought to
find out before you go to bed tonight.
Long after the Atlanta Olympics have faded from
memory, the greatest tournament in golf will still
be played in Augusta every April, with or without
Jessie Jackson's and Martha Burke's approval, and on
autumn Saturdays, 90,000 or so Red-and-Black
faithful will gather in Athens for a prayer meeting
between the hedges.
No matter how many times the Braves play in the
World Series, nothing will match the excitement of
that first one.
The Stone Mountain carving is lots bigger than the
one on Mt. Rushmore and the people etched into the
side of Stone Mountain deserve the honor.
It wasn't just about slavery.
Atlanta was called "the city too busy to hate," back
in the sixties, because it really was, and we should
be proud of that fact.
In 1864, Sherman burned Atlanta and much of Georgia
in his March to the sea.
Crack cocaine is bringing more harm to Atlanta than
Sherman ever dreamed of.
We don't grow the most peaches, but we still deserve
to be called the "Peach State" because ours are the
sweetest.
That includes the Georgia peaches that don't grow on
trees.
We do produce the most peanuts, pecans, and poultry.
Elvis wasn't ours, but Otis Redding, James Brown,
the Allman Brothers, Johnny Mercer, Joe South, Ray
Charles, Bill Anderson, Brenda Lee, Trisha Yearwood
and Alan Jackson are.
So are Sidney Lanier, Joel Chandler Harris, Margaret
Mitchell and Alice Walker.
And I still miss Lewis Grizzard every day.
Julia Roberts may be Georgia's prettiest movie star,
but Holly Hunter (from my hometown) is the most
talented.
Dakota Fanning may one day surpass them both (also
from my hometown).
FDR adopted us. His "Little White House" in Warm
Springs is exactly as it was the day he died there,
near the end of World War II. Every Georgian needs
to visit Warm Springs.
Roosevelt's New Deal put Georgians to work and
turned an entire generation of her people into
"yellow Dog" Democrats.
Georgia once had three governors at the same time.
Lester Maddox wasn't one of them, but was elected by
the General Assembly without getting a majority of
the popular vote.
He did a good job too, God rest his soul.
Zell Miller was the best governor, and Jimmy Carter
was the worst to occupy the White House, and hasn't
been much better as an ex-president.
Gone With the Wind belongs to us. We own it.
Not only is it by one of our own and is about us,
but it's also one of the great novels of all time
and an absolute film classic-and we shouldn't
apologize for liking it.
WSB means "Welcome South Brother."
She ain't what she used to be, but she's not as bad
as the AJC has become.
The Brown Thrasher, the Cherokee Rose, and the Live
Oak are our symbols.
Proud, decent, honest people are our heritage.
None are as plentiful as they once were, but none
are on the endangered list, either.
The best barbecue in the world is Fincher's in
Macon,
The best fried chicken in the world was made by my
grandmother Sunday afternoons after church.
Grits is groceries and sugar doesn't belong in
cornbread.
God intended for iced tea to be served sweet.
And lastly, Georgia ain't exactly heaven-but it will
do until I get there.