Entry # 60: July 12, 2006

Camp Buehring, Kuwait (Somewhere near the Iraq border)

Bond’s gone blond. I thought I’d never see it happen. After the raven haired Connery, Moore, Dalton, and Brosnan, the producers of the greatest action movies have made a drastic change. They’ve named the fair-haired Daniel Craig the new Bond. Not many people have liked the idea, but I for one like it. As a fellow blond male in the intelligence business, I think it’s a step in the right direction. My stock is rising that’s for sure.

My favorite Bond was not Connery (blasphemy, I know). I thought Brosnan was the smoothest Bond there was. Then again, it’s hard to beat a classic. Connery was a rough and tough kind of guy, the kind of guy you don’t want to meet in an alley. Brosnan was the kind of guy you didn’t want to meet in a bar, because he’d steal your date. And then he’d save the world, so you definitely didn’t stand a chance of getting your date back.

Nonetheless, I think the change will be a good thing. Mostly because I feel I have a legitimate shot to be the next Bond when Craig decides to retire his Walther PPK. That gives me a good 3-5 movies to work on my British accent. I think I could pull it off. I lived in England, studying at the University of Essex. I’m already skilled in firing a pistol and handling machine guns. I have professional real world intelligence experience. I like vodka martinis, not to mention I’m dead sexy in a penguin suit. I know my way around a casino—I once won $2,000 in Vegas playing roulette on a road trip with some buddies from my officer basic class. If I can conquer the accent, I’m a shoo-in, so long as I hold on to my golden locks. I think I’ll only be able to keep them for another decade or so. Therein lies the rub.

Ok, so maybe I won’t be Bond. And yet it’s still one step forward for the blonde movement, at least for the male gender. Sorry my flaxen haired ladies, but you’ve still got to contend with the whole Barbie image. And if any of you fit that stereotype, give me a call. But you’ve only got a ten year window of opportunity. Carpe Preston. And so the Soldier’s life continues…