Entry # 48: May 24, 2006

Camp Buehring, Kuwait (Somewhere near the Iraq border)

I have a growing sense of detachment from the rest of the world. It’s like I’m in a biosphere, locked away, but without the fresh air and leafy trees. I read about stuff going on in the news, but it all seems so far away, sometimes even the news that occurs within my immediate sensory realm. You know how some people claim to have an out of body experience; they see their body and everything going on around them, but are helplessly floating taking in the scenes and words taking place around them. I’m having a permanent out-of-body experience.

In the States and Germany, I could interact with new people every day, enjoy a cup of coffee on a bustling pedestrian alley, or go out to eat with friends at a sit down restaurant of our choosing. Everything here has become so routine, it’s as if I’m not really doing it, I’m just watching my body go through the motions. Every Wednesday, it’s steak and shrimp night, which at first glance to you, might seem delicious and invigorating. You should see the steak. I think its roadkill camel. The shrimp is the microwavable kind. I’ve chewed on gum for shorter amounts of time it takes to get these crustaceans in a condition suitable for swallowing.

It’s at the point where I’m running out of new ways to make fun of Shawn (although I did stick a paperback copy of Brokeback Mountain in his cargo pocket where he usually keeps his work notebook. In the command post, he reaches in for his notebook and pulls out a gay porn novella in front of his headquarters element. Score one for Preston). But besides that bit, the bottom line is, I’m getting complacent, which is a bad thing in a combat zone. You get lazy, you gloss over details, you make mental errors. It’s not because I’m bad at doing things, it’s just human nature.

The Air Force has four month tours, the Marines do seven months. The Army, well, we do a whole year. Twelve months. There’s been numerous studies about the perfect deployment length. The studies show that the first two months are familiarization and adjusting. From three months to about 6-7 months, you are at your prime, alert, you know what to expect, you’re not a rookie, but a seasoned vet. At about the seven month mark, that’s when the complacency sets in. Everything gets as regular as an eighty year old man on a heavy diet of fiber and prune juice. That’s when most people are wounded or killed due to factors they could control, for example, vehicle accidents. However, at nine months, the sharpness returns because you realize your time is almost up and that desire to make it back home grows stronger. Well, the next two months are the toughest ones. And so the Soldier’s life continues…